My Memorial Day Weekend Sit-On-My-Ass-Cation

Last month I started dreaming of the sweet vacation that I would take over Memorial Day Weekend. However, as the weekend got closer, I thought maybe it'd be better to save on the money and planning and just do a fun staycation instead (maybe explore Chinatown or Astoria and call it an adventure). Yet, somehow even this proved too much to organize and my staycation got downgraded to a Sit-On-My-Ass-Cation.

Let me take a minute here to define some key terms. A vacation is a sometimes expensive retreat from the world of commutes, 9-5 jobs and an apartment with dishes and/or babies piling up. It usually involves some medium pampering, fine dining, awkward cultural meshing and a collection of all the qualities New Yorkers like us hate to see tourists exhibit in our own city.

A staycation is a cheap alternative to traveling. Rather than book a flight and hotel in god knows where for lord knows how much, staycationers take advantage of ethnic options in their own area. Perhaps nowhere is this an easier option to enjoy than in New York where six blocks is enough to transport you from Little Ukraine to Little Jewish Diaspora (yes, I just referred to the Lower East Side as Little Jewish Diaspora, deal with it!).

Now, a sit-on-my-ass-cation is really a last ditch option for those eager to step away from their daily lives but too lazy to move their feet. It involves a couch or bean bag chair, copious amounts of alcohol, dependable and delicious delivery food and, most importantly, the full 5-DVD set of Planet Earth. When you see that Snow Leopard hunting its prey on the Khyber Pass along the terrorist-infested Pakistan-Afghanistan border, you won't want to be anywhere else. And don't even get me started on the migration of Demoiselle Cranes struggling to fly over the tallest peaks of the Himalayas each year... Life is exhausting. Just sit and watch for a while.

- Seth