Random Advice From A Public Urinator

Yes, we know it's gross, but at some point every guy (and some girls) end up pissing outside in desperation. This is especially true in the city where you spend so much time walking at night between bars. The problem is that in NYC you're usually exposed to other pedestrians and possible cops. So you want a place that's out of sight, but not so secluded that you end up with your pants down in a sketchy dark alley. The trick is to find a Hummer (it's the one thing they're good for) and go behind it. Best of all, you won't feel too guilty since those bastards are destroying the world anyway. One more thing: unless you're the drunk lunatic who lives down the block from me, don't even try pissing during the daytime. Just go to Starbucks.