The Scam

As a kid you receive a lot of simple safety advice that you assume will stay in the back of your mind until you need it. Well I have a terrible memory. But for your own sake try to remember all the mistakes I'm about to list.

I was walking on 7th avenue one dreary day when a red minivan pulled up next to me. A man with a strong Italian accent called me over in broken English. He pulled out a small subway map, and asked me for directions to get to Newark Airport.

After I explained how, he said, "You've been a really nice guy." Then he asked me where I worked. I was thinking I should go, but I also realized I had nothing much to do that day, except maybe get a tattoo.

He mentioned he works for Giorgio Armani and was in town for a fashion show uptown. He said he had lots of clothes leftover in his car and had to get rid of them before flying home or else pay an expensive export tax. He was in a tight spot and said, partly to thank me for my help, he could give me a jacket or two for free.

Did I need a jacket? No. Did I want free stuff? Yes. Even if I had no use for it, why not get something for free. Isn't that one of the main tenets of living in New York?

He invited me into his car and said to check out the jackets. I was hesitant at first and said I needed to get going. He said, "Don't worry, this isn't like a gay thing." He wasn't a very formidable person and I didn't feel in any danger. So after giving it a quick thought, I got in the car.

He gave me a spiel about the jackets and I noticed that his English got better as he went along. He pulled out one jacket at a time, each one more expensive than the last and asked me to feel the quality of the fabric. He asked me to pick three. He said they were a brand of Armani (Reportage) that I had never heard of and he named some audacious retail prices. He could give them to me half off.

As soon as I heard the prices, I laughed and said I should go. But he turned to me and said "Please, help me out. Do you know how much these jackets go for?" Then he asked, "How much do you have in your wallet."

I can't explain why but instinctively I reached for and opened my wallet. I counted my money. One hundred and twenty five dollars. Most of it money I'd gotten for my birthday a few days earlier. Now he knew I had $125. He said OK, but that's definitely not going to be enough for these fine Italian jackets. Then he offered to drive me to an ATM. This was definitely going too far. I told him no, my bank money was for rent, not for jackets. $125. He asked me which two jackets I liked the most and I picked two: one leather and the other suede.

He took the money from my hand. Now I had to stay in this car until I got something. So I dialed a friend hoping he could check the brand online, but he didn't pick up. The Italian got annoyed and said he was in a rush. So I grabbed the money back from him.

The man said he was offended and told me to get out of the car. He had to go to the airport. For some reason, I felt a pang of guilt for having offended this strange Italian man and said I didn't mean to. He looked at me sadly, showed me his Italian passport and said, "You don't believe me. Yet I believe everything you're saying!"

That was my final moment of introspection. Yes or no. I could get out of the car or get the two jackets. Yes or no. He said again how he was in a rush. So I took the two jackets, gave him the money and left.

As he drove away, I noticed his license plate wasn't a rental. The brand of Armani turned out to be fake. It was all a scam. If you ever thought it was safe to amble down a Manhattan street with 100+ dollars, not caring, you're wrong. Also, too much idle time really can hurt you.

-Rishi