Missed Connections

Our senior love guru, Varun, looks for romance underground. Here is his report:

I pose this question to the masses: Is there a way to approach a girl on the subway without simultaneously looking like a really big creep?

The subway, like nearly all of New York City's public venues, is ironically and unfortunately a zone of minimal social interaction. For some reason, all conversation, eye contact, and (god forbid!) physical contact just aren’t kosher among strangers in the city. How then are we to make a connection, to form new relationships, or simply to meet new people?

The subway presents a classic example of this urban social hurdle. Picture this: You are on a downtown A train sitting across from a very pretty girl. You like the way she dresses and carries herself, and you wish you could get to know her better. Do you try to call out to her from across the aisle? No way. She could never hear you unless you shout, which would appear overly aggressive and end in disaster. Do you try to sit next to her (if there even is an open spot, which there never is)? No that would be coming on way too strong. Nobody switches seats unless somebody just puked in the seat next to you. Do you get up and stand in the spot in front of her? Clearly not, as that would align your crotch with her head and just be terribly awkward for all parties involved.

And even if you tried any of these moves, what would you then say? “Hey uhh…I like your skirt…”?? Or how about “Oh I see you’re reading that Obama book….did you know he’s our president now…?” On top of that, any conversation would be extremely time sensitive and frighteningly public, and when you reach the next stop, who knows how the seating arrangements will change! The stress alone could paralyze you!

Alas, I would contend that it is next to impossible to make a positive and lasting first impression on someone in the subway. But thankfully, I’m not alone in this struggle. Resourceful Craigslist users have adopted the legendary online forum to create a sort of lost and found for underground love. On the Missed Connections page, city dwellers can put up a post describing that special gal or guy that they totally would have approached had the situation been more amenable. The hope is that the object of their affection will rush to Craigslist and see their description, and a proper connection can be made. Better late than never.

Some of the entries are very creepy, but here is one of the more amusing posts from Missed Connections:

It's so funny. I keep thinking about you and your sterile jars. You had a baker's dozen of them. Each one contained a small rodent like creature with deep set eyes and ears of silk. As the subway doors opened you turned a cartwheel. It wasn't your stop, but it was mine. I got off the train thinking I should have totally said something.


1 comment:

Faye said...

Continuing on from our conversation...Unless you're super sleezy, I don't think that it's crazy to go up to someone and
1) Talk about the book they're reading
2) Say "I hope you don't think I'm creepy for saying this, but...(I think you're pretty, I like your skirt,etc.)

1) Masturbate while looking at them (I have seem this happen on the subway!)

What's the worst that can happen?

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