NYC Pride

There's nothing New Yorkers love more than protests and parades. It's an excuse to "rub up against strangers," as Regina Spektor puts it. And few are more lively than the annual Gay Pride Parade. Held last weekend, this year's parade also commemorated the 40th anniversary of the famous Stonewall Riots, which took place in the West Village. New Yorkers proudly threw off their work attire and marched in their full glory, exposing their well-toned abs (courtesy of expensive NYC gyms) and elaborate tattoos that they may or may not have gotten moments before at a seedy village parlor. The Loser's Guide was there to document all the festivities.

The Stonewall Inn Float

Chuck Schumer and his tiny entourage
brave the crowds and the heat


Crowds gather on Fifth Ave

In front of the Stonewall Inn

photographs by Claire

Random Advice from An (Employed) Playwright

The Losers Guide has decided to break with its long tradition of putting up original advice for New Yorkers in the hopes of bringing you a particularly insightful quote. The following is an excerpt from this year's College of Mount St. Vincent commencement speech given by John Patrick Shanley, the playwright who penned Doubt. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

"Not to bring up something upsetting, but when you leave here today, you may go through a period of unemployment. My suggestion is this: Enjoy the unemployment. Have a second cup of coffee. Go to the park. Read Walt Whitman. Walt Whitman loved being unemployed. I don't believe he ever did a day's work in his life. As you may know, he was a poet. If a lot of time goes by and you continue to be unemployed, you may want to consider announcing to all appropriate parties that you have become a poet."

First the Bad News, Then the Good

The poor economy is dragging housing markets down across the country. Even the once impenetrable Manhattan real estate market is getting clobbered. Anyone looking to sell their place should try their damnedest to wait it out.

That's the bad news.

The good news is that if you've been waiting for the right moment to pounce on Manhattan real estate, now is the time. It's a buyers market. The average price of apartments has fallen between 13-19 percent from last year, according to the Associated Press. The price of luxury apartments dropped even more, with some losing up to a quarter of their value. Yes, it still costs an arm and a leg to buy a place here, but before it cost more limbs than any non-mutant person has.

In fact, just last month there was an auction of foreclosed homes in Manhattan, a very rare phenomenon.

However, if you're just interested in renting a place in Manhattan, there's some good news for you, too. In an effort to attract buyers, many landlords are offering free amenities (like microwaves), waving the first month's rent and even covering the broker's fee. Also, there's room to take advantage of this climate even if you're just looking to renew your lease. This article in the Wall Street Journal shows you how to craft a letter to your landlord to reduce your rent.

Strangest NYC Job of the Week

Ex N. Idaho Drug Kingpin Needs Writer

Writer Wanted For Ex North Idaho Drug Kingpin: Looking for someone to write life story, unique story, unique Individual. Story consists of dealings with Colombians, Cubans, Mexican Federallies, 16 years in prison hanging out with mafia members from the Phildelphia Scarfo gang, Charlie Iannache, Anthony Pungitore, Gene Gotti-brother of John Gotti of the New York Mafia, being successful jail house lawyer. Story begins with the consequences for a boy with a gifted IQ who deals with uniagnosed ADHD and the path he takes in life through taking over the underbelly of the drug world,prison,self inflicted extrodinary rehabilitation efforts to his succesfull entrance back into society. This isnt some run of the mill drug dealer story! I SHOULD BE DEAD A HUNDRED TIMES OVER. GOD HAD HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER TO GET THROUGH IT. ps: All Statue of Limitations are finished and all prison time completed. The story just needs to be told by a gifted writer. TO SEE 6 PAGE SYNOPSIS GO TO: http://bobbyconvict.blogspot.com

If interested, please submit writing proposal/compensation plans. I would prefer to give the writer a portion of proceeds, but would pay the right writer to do the story. Follow up to the book would be self help videos/books for children-parents-educators-inmates to not go down the path I took, or to change an inmates life through education. please email me at: write4me87@yahoo.com

For the original link, go here.

The King of New York

Yesterday, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, passed away and left in his wake a world of grieving fans and followers. While the details of his death and the analysis of the influence of his life's work on American music is best left to other publications, the Losers Guide does have some insight into Michael Jackson’s impact on New York City.

All night long, large crowds gathered in Times Square and along 125th street in Harlem to celebrate the man who had become one of the most celebrated pop sensations of all time. We joined the fans along 125th street who swelled around car stereos blasting hits from Off the Wall and Thriller and dancing in the streets together. Earlier in the day, the Reverend Al Sharpton gave a brief but impassioned eulogy of the man outside the famed Apollo Theater, expressing the hope that now Jackson "gets the respect he was due." An impromptu shrine was then set up in his honor outside the Apollo, and news cameras rolled for hours to capture the emotion of the night. The Losers Guide was there to catch some of these moments in picture and video form:

Above: A crowd gathers around a Lamborghini and rocks out to old Jackson tunes

Below: An impromptu shrine is set up for fans

Above: Many cars on 125th street either blasted old Jackson songs from their speakers or wrote short memorials on their windshields

Below: A girl dresses up like Michael Jackson (left); And yes, someone made a t-shirt already (right)

Say what you will about his personal troubles, but there’s no doubt in our minds that Michael Jackson was among the greatest pure showmen and performers that we are likely to see in our lifetimes. This is clear in this clip that we found of Jackson performing “Billy Jean” in New York in 2001.

And finally, here's a short VIDEO of people chanting in tribute to MJ.

Picking the Perfect Seat in a NYC Movie Theatre

We forced our Senior Cheapskate Correspondent, Seth, to see "Whatever Works" in theaters this weekend. We hoped that this movie, which marks Woody Allen's return to filming in New York City, might inspire Seth to write a kick ass review. Instead he wrote this blog:

I went to see Whatever Works this weekend in the Upper East Side and was overwhelmed by the chaos of the NYC movie theater. Old Jews and Jewesses were cackling with every Woody Allen punchline while teens fornicated in the front rows. Meanwhile a solitary old woman spent the first fifteen minutes of the film staring at me as though I'd hurled her cat out a window. With all this in mind, here are a few rules I've found useful for picking the best seat in a NYC movie theater. Because in this city, a cell phone ringing in the middle of a movie is really the least of your problems. NYC is filled with crazy characters, but when you have to pay 12 bucks for a ticket, the last thing you want is for them to be the show.

Rule #1: Avoid people sitting alone. Yes, we all like to go to the movies solo once in a while. But more often than not, the people who you do see all by themselves at the theater are among the craziest.

Rule #2: Don't sit near anyone wearing bags instead of clothing. Just don't.

Rule #3: Stay away from young lovers (too many public displays of affection) and old couples (too many public displays of aggravation). Instead, find a nice middle-aged couple who have grown comfortable with the fact that they have nothing left to say to each other.

Rule #4: Keep away from people eating hot dogs (messy) or holding an enormous drink (definite mid-movie bathroom run).

Rule #5: Sit on the aisle or else sit dead center. The former cuts your chances of having a crazy person next to you in half. But it also means you'll have to get up to let people in and out of your row much more often. The latter avoids this problem and positions you well for watching the film. But then you've got to deal with those extra crazies. Your choice.

Two final points to remember: Always arrive early enough to sample your seat. It may seem fine at first, but if the person next to you starts weeping loudly during the first preview, be ready to switch. And second, remember that we all have different degrees of tolerance. Some people may prefer to sit next to a crazy person if it spares you from sitting in the front row. Personally, I'd take the neck pain and eye strain, but that's just me.

First the Bad News, Then the Good

Earlier this week, the Department of Labor revealed that NYC's unemployment rate has reached a staggering 9 percent. In Real People Numbers (RPN), this means there are now 361,000 people in the city without jobs.

That's the bad news.

Some of you (but hopefully not too many) may be included in that large number. We at the Loser's Guide sympathize. But there is some good news for you: at least for the near future, you are no longer confined to the 9-5 life. Now is your chance to take that vacation you've been putting off, to spend more time with family and, yes, even to take chances. In fact, according to one new report, 50 percent of the companies on this years Forbes 500 list were started during tough economic climates like the one we're in now.

Need more good news? Just visit the website CardsOfChange.com. It compiles business cards (like the one on the right) from recently laid off Americans and uses these cards as a template to illustrate how their lives have changed for the better. What are you waiting for? Make the most of your unemployment.

Losing Our Virginity

Our Retro Correspondent, Seth, reports on the current state of the New York City record store.

It's been a little more than a week since the last Virgin Megastore closed down in Manhattan. In the final weeks, the store had unprecedented discounts on vinyl, CDs and movies. And suddenly, all the New Yorkers who had stopped going to Virgin because of high prices were back roaming the isles. While I was there, several customers kept glancing at their iPods, trying to figure out which of the downloaded bands on there were worth buying on hard-copy. Others hovered around the vinyl section, wondering whether now was the time to start a collection.

New York City is meant to be the promised land for great record stores, a place where you can find obscure oddities and hidden gems. No other city, perhaps with the exception of San Francisco, offers a comparable selection. And yet, in recent years, the big stores have shut their doors one by one. For anyone who has lived in Manhattan for more than a couple years, the last days of Virgin Records felt eerily familiar. It was just a few years ago when the entire Tower Records chain shut down.

We have now reached a point where no chain store, it seems, can exist on selling CD's and DVD's alone. Instead, the ones that continue to be successful are stores like J&R and Best Buy, which sells lots of electronics, and Wal Mart, which sells lots of everything else. Yet, this makes New York City all the more valuable thanks to its large number of small independent record stores. Whether you're a longtime collector looking for new places to find that rare record, or a new buyer who just purchased your first CD in the dying days of Virgin, here is the list of five of our favorite stores left in NYC:


1) Bleecker Street Records - This Greenwich Village shop is a staple for record collectors. It offers used and new CDs upstairs and an excellent collection of classic vinyl and posters downstairs. The used CD's can run for as little as $4, but for the most part, don't come here looking for cheap buys. This is where you go when you have to own a record and you can't find it anywhere else.

2) Sound Fix - If you're looking for new releases from Indie bands like Grizzly Bear and Bon Iver on vinyl or CD, this is the place to go. On top of a nice selection of music, this store is connected to a sweet bar in the back. Buy a record, grab a Guinness and stay for any one of the free performances they host.

3) Turntable Lab - This East Village store ranks near the top of most lists of the best record stores in America. It offers a great selection of DJ equipment and Hip Hop music. But the store is much more diverse than that. From a recent review of the store: "[H]ere you'll find everything like techno, house, dubstep, roots + dub, nujazz, new disco, electro rock, rave, new wave, Miami bass + electro, Baltimore electronic, Ghettotech bass, break beats, cosmic, Italian disco, dance, and lots of very underground hip-hop." How can you beat that?

4) Generation Records - This store bills itself as the best destination for "obscure, outrageous or just plain weird" records, and they certainly are not far off. It is only a few blocks away from Bleecker Street Records. So, after you've satisfied your craving for old folk music there, head over to this shop for all your punk and heavy metal needs.

5) Other Music - It's a little lonelier now that the Tower Records in Greenwich Village has closed. It used to be possible to search through the racks at Tower for all your mainstream needs and then stroll down the block to Other Music to find records from all those bands that were too cool for Tower. Still, this is the place to go to find out about all the weird bands you never hear about anywhere else. Just try not to be too embarrassed if the only band you recognize there is Radiohead.

Did we miss one of your favorites? Leave us a comment here or e-mail us your responses at losersguidenyc@gmail.com

Strangest NYC Job of the Week

Calling Modern Nomads

Skyelab is hosting two discussion groups in NYC for bag maker, Timbuk2. The groups will be WITH and ABOUT the idea of the "Modern Nomad" and the bags they carry.

What is a Modern Nomad?
Someone who is in constant motion; loves to explore; considers themselves creative, optimistic and adventurous. Someone who cares about the environment and does something about it. Someone who is good at juggling many things, embraces change, and knows it when they're in the flow. Someone who is an individual but has no problem being part of a "tribe" of like-minded people. Someone who doesn't believe in "settling down" even if they've settled down. Someone who believes in having open eyes and being open-minded, and truly believes life is about the journey, not the destination.

We need 6–8 people to attend each of the following groups on WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24

Group 1: (4–6pm) College students who fit the Modern Nomad lifestyle (owning a Timbuk2 bag is a plus, but not necessary)

Group 2: (6:30–8:30pm) Any adult 21–45 who currently owns a Timbuk2 bag AND identifies with the description of the Modern Nomad

You will receive a new Timbuk2 bag for your participation. Groups will be videotaped for research purposes.

If you are interested, please fill out the application below and SEND A RECENT PHOTO. We will call to screen qualifiers.

WHAT BRAND OF BAG IS CURRENTLY YOUR GO-TO?:
WHAT MAKES YOU A MODERN NOMAD?:
DESCRIBE YOUR LIFESTYLE IN THREE WORDS:

To get more information about this job, go here.

Don't Make the Train Conductor Angry

Our expert at uncovering awkward situations, Varun, finds out what happens when a passenger offends the train conductor.

After getting out of a conference downtown, my co-worker and I hopped on the uptown R train at Prince Street. Usually, this is a very routine experience: the train operator gets on the PA and tells folks what the next stop is and to "stand clear of the closing doors", the doors close (and open and close and open and eventually close), and the train slides out of the station. But today was different. Today, instead of using his time on the PA to announce destinations or tell us about train safety, the train operator felt compelled to make a personal message to one of the passengers on board. After the doors closed, he patched through and said, with great emotion:

"Excuse me Sir: an umbrella is meant to protect you from the rain. You DON'T use it to wave in the face of the train operator! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??!!"

An awkward silence filled the train, as if every one of us were being scolded. As we started off toward 8th street, I frantically scanned the faces around me for pangs of guilt and shame, hoping to identify the nefarious straphanger. But alas, he was either in another car, or so cold-hearted that he could not be bothered, even by such a public underground tongue lashing.

The Unhappy Couple

Jay Z and Beyonce saw me in TriBeCa the other day. It was awkward. I was outside my boss's apartment on Hudson St., which just so happens to be next door to J and B's New York home. A shiny, black Escalade pulled right up beside me. Being the nosey pedestrian that I am, I took a peek inside the open window and the royal couple of Hip Hop looked back at me. I must have made my killer paparazzi face because they instantly rolled up the window and went around the corner. I've always flirted with the idea of being a part time paparazzo, but I didn't think I had it in me. However, I think this experience proves I do have what it takes to instill fear in the hearts of celebrities throughout New York City.

- Claire

Courtesy is Contagious, and Enforceable

If you've been on the subway in the last month, you've probably noticed an added announcement from the conductor asking you to give up your seat for the elderly and for pregnant women. Hoping to appeal to passengers' better natures, the MTA adopted the slogan, "Courtesy is Contagious." Now, however, the transit authority is launching a campaign to remind passengers that there are legal retributions in addition to karmic retributions for not being courteous. From the article:

"Those who refuse could be fined $25 to $50 -- or even face up to 10 days in jail.

Signs are going up this week in thousands of subway cars and buses. The law has long been on the books; transit officials are now trying to get people to obey it."

So remember, be a good person. Or else the MTA will get you.

Oops, Just Missed It!

New York City is a tough place to be punctual. Either the subways are running late or some disenfranchised group of people is holding a rally, somewhere, blocking traffic. Or else your bike got a flat and you couldn't fit the pump into the wicker basket in the front, what with all the records and your spare fedora already in it. That's why we really don't appreciate the hours of the Pearl River Mart down in SoHo. 7:20, really? Good luck.

- Seth

Finally, A Way to Quantify Your Loserness

If you haven't checked out Graphjam.com then you are missing out (and probably spending too much time at work actually working). Graphjam creates pie charts, ven diagrams and good old graphs for topics as diverse as wake up time vs. occupation to the chances of a geek trying to hit on a girl over the course of their lives. There is even a graph to illustrate what happens in Vegas. Answer: only a sliver stays in Vegas; 99% ends up on the Internet.

The model below strikes a particular chord for the Loser's Guide. We know what section we belong in (and we hope you do, too)!

Random Advice from A Harlem Sports Fan

If you're looking for a sports bar to watch a baseball game near your apartment in Harlem, don't even bother. Just cough up the two bucks and take the subway downtown.